ERM...

[argatthias]

Hello. I'm new here as you might have guessed. I have a problem... at least I have some questions and I'm wondering' if I can get help or something...

I have strange abilities and such.. I know that... I believe I am for one a psi vampire. I go around people and every time I do people around me always seem to get tired or feel drained. People say its just because I'm controlling and such, but I believe not since I never speak. I'm only around them and that's it and they get tired.

I also have slight ability to see in the future at times and also sometimes into the past. When I'm bored I also can guess what a person looks like, is wearing, and what their thinking... but only when I'm bored.

I also have other things I can do and such, but really I for sure want at least help with those things if possible.. to help me control them and use that energy I know I have locked inside me... I really would like help and such.

[wolfdancer]

Well, this is a good place to start. Thank you for introducing yourself so well.

I have encountered at least one other person who had a similar effect on people. Are the people you are noticing this reaction ones who know you and/or know much about you? or Does it also occur in venues such as malls or concerts where there are a lot of people who have never even heard of your existence? This is important in being able to analyze this situation. With the person I know those that were most affected were those who knew him and his family.

The other ability you described falls under pre-cognition/post-cognition. This is not one of my strengths. I shall leave it for others to comment on.

~Wolfdancer

[argatthias]

You're welcome.

Well it would happen really in both places to speak the truth. When I'm on vacation I would travel around to many places I never been before, seeing many people I never met... they would normally always end up going tired after being around me.

I know of only three people not seeming to be effected by being around me, a girl I went to see that was an Internet friend. I thought of her like my older sister, she wasn't effected. The only other two people were both boys, they were my best friends when we were kids, they were both not effected, but everyone else would. Even my parents feel drained all the time by being around me.

I hope that answers what you wished for me to explain a bit more. Thank you for replying though. I hope I can have a bit more help, I really want to learn about these things I can do.. and control it badly before I hurt someone... again.

Edit: A friend of mine that is also on here, and got me on here said I should post what happened the first time I made a psi ball, I really don't know why he says that but here goes...



Well I read some things about how to make psi balls so I read them and thought I'd try them since I was in a nice and quiet room alone at school. First I did the thing where you place (for me) my right hand a inch or so above my arm and try to se if I can feel anything at all. I felt a strange tingling and a mix of warth then coldness that kept going from one to the other.

Then I did the thing to make the psi ball appear to a sense in your chest. It was very, weird. Well I felt like, first electricty went thoughout my body, making it completly numb, as well as a feeling of great coldness, making my skin turn a blueish color. Then I suddenly went completly relaxed, my body now warmed out and my color returned to normal.

After that I tried to make a psi ball. Right away I felt a warth and my hands went white. I felt like electricty was running though my body into my hands, trying to push my hands apart. I put as much energy into my hands as I could, then, since I read to try to go over the limit, I tried to put even more in. Suddenly a heard almost like a snap, the snap was like a crackle sound electricty makes, and I saw a small flash in my hands. My hands then started to shake slightly and they kind of pulled each other away from each other on their own, quiet quickly.

Later on that day I made a small psi ball, since at lunch at had gotten hit in the throat, making it very hard for me to breath. I just, well, used the psi ball to help me breath better and help stop the pain, and it worked. I didn't see anything special in that, but when I told my friend he said that was amazing I could do that already, even though I didn't know what I did that was such a big deal. In the past I would put cold water in a bowl, to a sense put energy into it and have it help my throat when I run it around the outside of it and inside and that's what I always used to do so I thought of it nothing big.

I still really don't get the big deals out of when I made my first two psi balls. I wish I knew.

[Namdas]

I'm that friend, by the way. Also, this needs a bump as this is still unresolved, sorta.

[confuded]

On the Psi Ball story: sounds like there was TK involved... Electric? I am wondering where do the extra electrons come from... Don't put so much power in your constructs. Did you even get drained at all?

The second construct which you made was not a simple 'psi-ball'. Rather a construct . A psi ball has a basic programming: a sphere sitting in one place. A construct would have a function beyond a psi-ball...

In any case, I do not know anything on the matter of 'psi vamps'. This might be touching other fields, not for this forum. But one thing for sure (obvious): you are messing with energy .

[argatthias]

Well.... About getting drained... Not really... I more or less like I felt stronger after doing it strangly...

I see, well I just know that after I made this two is about impossible for me to make another one. I know, I know, pratice, pratice, but here's the thing. Before coming here I already was very advanced in some of my energy control and abilites.... its the Vamp thing and the past future thing that I can't control and it bugs me... I could be sitting there they suddenly I pass out or half pass out and see what's to come or what not's past. It messed up my life and plus I drive to school everyday which means I always have the risk that I'm going to suddenly pass out or at least enough to get me into an accident. I already passed out once by drivin', good thing I was still in the parking lot and not movin'.

But I always was good with making energy form, I never would make a ball... I would use it in different ways... like if I got in a fight I would put more energy into my arms and legs so I could defend myself better with out getting hurt as much. I'm also already good at senseing energy around me so I know just whats going on when, but I'm not good at sensing or scaning far off energy. Umm... I also am good at using energies to sometimes, like, move water, flames, stop the doors next door from barking so much...

I just remembered another thing. I also believe I got two different people in this one body... and when ever I feel her out is when the vamp psi abilites, and people gettin' tired and such, most, but either way I guess I must continue to look for help with the vamp stuff.

[wolfdancer]

Hrm. Sorry about taking so long to get back to this. I had some other stuff come up offline and had to deal with it first. I will be back as much as I am able to be right now.

I think I understand what you are describing now and actually the further description splits the similarities between two people. Neither were psi-vamps, though both did tend to exhaust those they were around. I'm not sure a description has been developed to describe the phenomena. I will work on locating one if I can. They weren't overly energetic, but they did require a great deal of thought and care in dealing with them. Their reactions were not as predictable or following the same social standards that most people in the area were familiar with. It may not be something that is thought about by folks at the time, but that sort of interaction can be draining. Does that make any sense?

DA (or Cullen) if you have any comments on this or could get with me to develop a better description or hyphothesis, I would appreciate it. You are both familiar with at least stories of the people I am thinking of. Thanks.

[flameon]

i am feeling really tired

ok...the hot and cold feeling i experience myself when i mess with energy a little bit. now when you tell me that after you have made a psi ball that popped, together with you making people tired, i am starting to sense that you either have a overload of energy, an instability of them, or both. now i personally don't think you gave us enough information about you, or the people that you are friends with that have not suffered the effects of your "vampy powers", and the reason for that is because if they are just like you, or have some common interests, they may very well be in tune to the same energetic frequency, and thereby not be affected by you at all. It may also be a psychological thing, where they are interested in you, and you are interested in them, and therefor, that may override the "sleepy energy" you may be putting out (that is of course depending on how strong this transmission of this "tiredness" is). I am also going to state that you should do a self analysis on your self, and really try to concentrate on how you feel, and what you are thinking to see if it fits in with the average persons, because that may bring out, or at least bring you closer to what it is exactly that is making you feel the way you feel, and what is making the people around you look like they walked through the poppy field in the wizard of oz.

as for the healing- i have met more then one person that can accomplish this. if i have ahead ache, after quickly going through what "realistically" could have gave me it (eg- sitting under the hot sun, eating wrong, the person talking, etc), i will then relax, drink a cup of water (as most people are dehydrated, and your brain needs water for its neurotransmitters to function properly, and most of the time, that will solve it), i will then sit down, and put my hand over my head, and "heal" it. It almost always goes away. There are natural energetic healers out there that do the same thing as i do, directly applying the necessary healing energy to the affected area healing it, versus you redirecting the energy to water and then applying it. you should try direct healing some time.

as for you not being able to make a psi ball again, practice is a good idea. I STRONGLY suggest that you start meditating, and get your self in balance. i have heard directly from someone that they have an easier time doing PK when they are tired or relaxed. I believe that it just means that they are tuned to the right energetic frequency that allows them to preform. If you want to walk, you have to be standing on the floor...when you want to eat, you have to go and prepare food, and the same goes with anything else, including psi. You have to be ready for it to use it and be in control of it. every thing that you have described to me can be happening from a instability of energy, and i really hope you get on top of it, and redirect the possible excess energy to something good, and try to stabilize the hot and cold sudden flashes, as that is a sign of a change in energy. basically stabilize your self, and eat healthy, and exercise to help keep your self in balance. the fainting though worried me. you should get a full checkup, and make sure its not something chemical that is out of balance in your body, and take extra precaution not to drive when you feel faint. The question is if your faintness is more of a tiredness- because that would clearly indicate, again, a imbalance of energy, and possibly your "vampy power" turning on you. (you may have tuned yourself to an susceptible energetic frequency where you were effected)....In short, if you want us to help you, and you help yourself, and the others possibly affected, you have to get in touch with your self, and give us as much information you possibly can to help us pick up on what it is thats going on exactly.

good luck

[argatthias]

Its alright wolfdancer, I didn't think anyone would try to help me anyways.

Umm it kind of makes sense, but not really to say the truth
~~

I think its most likely that I have both of those things. I never was a person to describe myself to others not even those two friends so this is hard to do, explain so much, but I'm trying. I just don't believe it is that likely that they were on the same level as me in anyway really. They the three didn't believe in the psi stuff, like I did, they all were completly different from each other and of me, we just get along well is all. David, one of the two boys, couldn't think about something for more than a minute with out getting restless and moving on. He also had many pets and loved animals, a completly oppsite thing than me, I have no pets and I hate animals. Tanner the other boy was a bit closer to me, but still quiet different. He too had a very short time he could think on something. Jordan, the girl, is the same way. She's the closest to how I am... Strangly when I went to her house she felt more energectic (I was talking to her last night about it and found this out) and other things, though she also of course doesn't believe in the stuff, she just believes I'm really different than a lot of people in the world.

I, myself, can easily keep my mind on one thing for hours on end... So much so I forget everything, but that thing and its almost like I'm dead from the world, so much so someone could, and have, throw me down stairs and I won't know it at all. I think about everything, I'm a quiet serious person unlike those three who are very playful. I also try to notice everything in the world and measure it all together in my head like a 3d video... that I can watch while having my eyes close and still know every single thing going on.

The 'how I feel thing' I know right now, is not like an average person. My life is completly backwards than a normal person. Most of the time I do feel a bit of fear and sadness, but that's because I get yelled at for everything and anything possible by parents and sometimes I am hit. People always have bullied me my whole life. Its like a curse, but... I don't show it. Normally a person would say at school that I'm a cold heartless shell.. I would never laugh at school, never cry... I just almost like wear a mask at school, with out doing so... at school I let my other personality take over while I just ride inside... quiet.. and safe from the horrors of so many people, I hate crowds. I never talk to people unless needed, I always try my best, get work done as quickly as possible so I can pick up my notebook and start to write my stories, mostly horror, but some other things. When I write everything else disappears, but I don't get why my emotions would change into hurting people when I care more about other people than myself, if someone needs help I'll risk my life to help. Everyone's lives are more important than mine, that's what I think, which is one of the reasons I want to control this power... so I won't hurt anyone anymore.

Direct healing won't work on me when I do it to myself for mainly the last thing I just said, because I care more about other people than myself. I think it is worthless for me to just waste time healing myself, its a thought I have stuck in my head and I keep there... because of that the only way for me to heal myself is though the use of other objects of some sort so I trick my own self that, I am to a sense, healing that object not me.

Like I keep saying, I was more advance and I don't see the point of praticing to making a psi ball... when I already can make energy into so many different forms and into different objects and make it do things for myself. One of the reasons its hard for me to make a psi BALL, is because circles are something that is a sense of evil to me... that... I don't know if I should explain, so far I'm only bugged acrossed the net about it so much I got stinken stalkers.

I really don't know anything about meditating, I trully don't. I can't relax myself like that at all, relaxing is just.. nothing I want to do. I always want to do something. If anything I relax by writing, writing anything at all, that's the only way I will allow myself to relax, every other way just seems pointless a waste of my time when I could be enjoying the sound of a pencil going across the page making pictures out of words for others to enjoy.

I already got a check up, many, all of them perfectly fine. Its not my vamp like powers doing it to myself. Its my little visions that do it. When ever I have a vision it takes over my body and freezes it. It forces me to watch with out knowing what's going on and when I come out of it no clue of what I was doing just moments before... I never know how long I'm out, I just, go out. Its not tiredness... because I could have slept a good 10 hours... next thing I know I fainted and had another vision. Its the visions doing the fainting, nothing else. I think one of the reasons it makes me faint is because it takes so much energy for my mind to allow me to see it... and when I have a vision its soo.... clear.. I hear everything, smell everything, see everything.... taste it.... feel it... so many senses might be why... every sense lost in the real world I can tell then in the vision.... I want to control it... I have to. Its not a choice, I mean I never get any hints that I'm gonna faint, it just happens and there's no stopin' it right now... I got no control of it at all. NONE...

I do want help, I kind of need it. There's not really many ways for me to help myself, that's one that I know I can't do really, since well.. I'm too busy trying to help others, I don't fully care about myself.

[flameon]

ok...buddy, i know you will not believe it, but i know exactly how you feel. I was there. I pretty much got out. What you are experiencing is partially depression (for records sake, please don't take this as a diagnosis your depression; what i am saying is that the symptop you are showing is it. depression can either be used as a term for a symptom or a diagnosis, so a for example a bi polar person way suffer episodes of depression, and mania) . You feel worthless. you don't feel like doing anything. You don't feel happy from anything. Your visions are more like feeling spaced out rather then tired. I can go on and on, but i would like to give over the cure right away.

you have to do as i say, and go though everything that i told you, and do it until you feel better. First, by all means, do not take a drug for it (if you are on one, dont stop without the approval of your psychologist, as i don't want you to have to deal with a chemical unbalance as well as a energetic one).

1) go to a certified homeopath (i know chances are you are not covered, but you have to do it- do what ever you have to do, get what ever help you need to... if it takes telling the homeopath your situation, then do that. what im saying is that homeopathy is healing by the means of energy, redirected in the proper form, to counter a certain symptom. it is directed into usually sugar pellets. if it helps you, i have taken them till i felt better, and they have remedies for everything- not just for feeling down. they have absolutely no drug counter actions, and no side effects (unless you are allergic to sugar)

2) get started on st. johns wort. Its a natural antidepressant, and it will help you not feel so low in your lows. it will not on its own, cure you, but it will help. you can pick up a bottle at your local natural food store.

3) You have to do this. You have to. this is probably the most important thing. do it as soon as you can. its going to sound ridiculous, but this is what it has been designed for. Its a book. Its called "the secret", and its written by Rhonda Byrne. Its talking about the law of attraction, and since i have got out of my situation, i have wanted to make sure that nobody gets hurt the way i did, and i did attract this situation to help you. trust me, the book will explain it all. it will train you how to think, and how to get control over everything.

4)for now, think positive. understand that there is a way out of this. There are people that have been in that situation, that have felt like thats the end, and they have gotten out, because there is a way out. think positive. if you don't feel good, then that means you aren't thinking positively, or you are not in a suitable energetic area for you. you will have to control your thoughts manually for now, until you have gotten all the help you need (trust me when i know whats this is like, and it is hard).

about your head and the thoughts racing, you have to understand that the mind takes up a tremendous amount of energy, and that you can do something that is very hard physically, and not feel tired or hungry after, but after taking a tough test or over stimulating your head, that you will feel tired and hungry.

depression is something that is very deep, and the ultimate cure is you. the thing is that you have to use the things that i told you to help you find that "cure", because right now you feel very lost inside, almost like you don't know what you want- but its more like you feel like you don't want anything. you have to avoid what makes you not feel good (or what would normally not feel good, since you feel really numb to things right now), and go for what would normally make you feel good.

I am an emergency care provider, and i used to be just like that. I guess to a certain extent i still am. the only difference is that i now know what i am worth, what i am capable of, and that if i do have to give my life for someone, that i was something, and i did stand fir something.

About the people, you don't have to worry about them liking you. that will come. trust me. people are looking for someone that is something, and stands for something. if you are confused your self, how do you expect your self to find a place with people. i have been there before, and if you just be your self, and find your self, and do what you truly want to do, then you will notice that as that stabilizes, people will magically start to bond and talk to you. the book will explain it all. YOU HAVE TO READ IT. Also, if friends make you feel good, hang around them, as they will always help. they are part of the key, as i dont think i could have done it with out them.

I feel for you, and if there is any more advice i could give you or help you out with, then please post, or pm (personal message) me. If i could explain how important it is for you to read that book- well this is how it would be : if i could, i would literally give you the book. (my homeopath told me to read it, and it was one of the best things i have done in my life... it has pulled thousands of people out of this hole). Stay strong, and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

for the rest of you reading this...well, you should have a look at the book... its great. Also, i did pick up a sever energy unbalance, but after i read this last post, is when things clicked, and i was able to feel exactly how he feels, and what he needs to help. I am surprised that at first i was not picking up an empathetic feeling from his last post, but then, after concentrating a little more, i realized that his reading was so similar to mine, that i was having trouble differentiating between mine and his reading. DA, i don't know if you have any advice for him, but he sure needs it, so now is a good time for anyone that knows anything that may help to speak up.

[argatthias]

Okay first things first, I'm a girl, though I act so much like a guy and look so much like one girls ask me out on dates thinking I'm one. Now with out that out of the way...

I do believe there are at least one person out there that feels like I do, but in what I read there's some points I don't think you understand... For one you seem to be thinking that I hate that I really have no friends or anything, that I'm alone. That's not what I'm getting at. I hate being in crowds so much because I hate being WITH people. I'd rather be alone with no friends than have a lot and/or be popular.

The only thing I need is my pencil and paper and I can say I'm happy, I enjoy to write though my teachers I could say less, they tell me I should LOOSE my imagination... saying its too big, mainly for someone my age. Anyways, writing is my joy and one of my favorite things. Also studing about mythology, demonology, theology, and Egyptology are also things that make me happy, but I can't say much more things do. I guess I kind of closed myself around the things that I can do at any moment in time, but either way. I don't want people to 'click' to me I hate it when I gain a new 'friend' in real life, because I just don't want any. To heck with them, I want to be alone. I'll help people, sure, but really I don't want any people to be close to me.

About getting away from the things that make me feel sad or whatever, how am I suposed to do that when the thing that scares me most is my own father? If I try to tell him how I feel all I do is get yelled at even more and get grounded, in trouble, then kicked of the computer, which is one of my joys since I get to have people read my writings and stuff. My dad is my greatest fear, maybe even my weakness, but I don't think its depression I got, not at all, this is no mental thing I have... this is more like... something I hide behind, yeah a mask, that's what I'm trying to think of.

To number 1: There's no homeopaths around where I live for miles, so far so that I couldn't go to one if I tried or well, just dad problems is all. I live in a small town, surounded by small towns. My guess is the closest homeopath lives maybe 2 and 1/2 to 4 hour drive away, too far for my dad's tastes. Oh yeah, and I hate sugar. It tastes bad to me.

To number 2: St. Johns Wort...? I never heard of the stuff, no clue what it is.

To number 3: Well if it sounds weird or not that's the most likely easiest thing on your little list since I read all the time. Plus it sounds like a good read either way, help me or not. I'll make sure to look for it.

To number 4: Think positive? Its kind of hard to do that with someone yelling at you day after day, yelling at you for everything you do, even if I get As... Thinking positive doesn't help me become happy, it only makes me think of times when well... nevermind. Writing makes me happier than thinking positive, and I write so much I got about 20 or so notebooks full of junk from just free writing... (that reminds me I got to get a new one.) Anyways... Thinking positive does not work in any and all situations. It only works with a few people, not a person like me that can hardly see things in her head, but only see things formed around her... which I have no clue how to trully explain so forget I said it please...

Durning tests and stuff with the mind, I never feel tired or hungry after words, its the hard physical stuff that makes me tired or hungry. I can't even run around a football field, I change that, I can't run half way around a footbal field and not get tired or hungry, or something. But I can do much mental things like popquizes, big tests, like their nothing big, mental is my strenght, physical my weakness.

Its not that I almost don't know what I want, I don't want much of anything is all... like I've been sayin' over and over, all I need to do is write and I'm happy enough. Its also not that I'm numb I just, don't worry about the things I think are useless like a boyfriend, or even to socialize with people... those things are both useless things to me, so I numbed myself from them.

I just know that if I give my life my writings my live past me... maybe not for long, but at least for a small while.

Like I said about this before. I don't really care if a person likes me or what they think of me, I could care less. Human feelings over another person, worrying about appereance, or the appereance of another is just, worthless, time and thought wasted to me, I never judge people, for I think that's a stupid thing people shouldn't do... Just nevermind.

I wish I knew how important, but you dont' have to explain, I'm readin' it if I find it either way since it is a book and I like to read. Plus how can you see the light at the end of the tunnel if its a winding one that just goes in circles..?

[flameon]

ok, first of all, i would like to give you my sincerest apology for mistaking you for a boy. I don't know if you will believe me, but as i said, i am having trouble picking you up empathetically, as i am having trouble distinguishing between your empathetic imprint, and mine. I did pick up something feminine, but the way you were talking and the guys you were hanging around convinced me otherwise. What you are doing or saying is perfectly normal, and i haven't seen anything that you have done or said that makes you look like a man- i picked up that you were a female, but the mix of similar empathetic imprint, and the guys you mentioned Ymade convinced me otherwise. I am feeling a sign of relief, sort of in the sense that things make sense now that you mentioned you are a girl.

Now, as i said, you have to read the book. I am happy that you like to read, and that you agree to read it. The positive thinking will be explained in the book, and also as to why you should think positively. The light at the end of the tunnel- what the book will show you literally, is how to gain control of your life, in the sense that you will then be able to do or be or have what ever you want. So what i meant by the light at the end of the tunnel is that once you are where you want, with who you want, how you want, and feel the way you want to feel, and feel happy, energized and great, and comfortable with life, that is where the light is at the end of the tunnel. You are absolutely correct about the tunnel, and how it keeps shifting, and that may be a good thing, or a bad thing. What is good about it is that when you gain control of it, you may shape your life to be exactly the way you want. Whats bad about it is that you may end up the way you feel now. Life is endless, and the sky is the limit, although you may not feel that way now. Again, i am urging you to read the book as soon as you can, and keep in mind one thing- every word in that book, whether you like it or not, is absolutely true. Just trust me, and accept it.

About the demonology and stuff- that stuff contains a heck of a lot of negativity, and it is absolutely true. Back in the day, the powers were more revealed, and people were able to do some nasty things with it. Thank g-d, for the most part, people don't really know how to use that stuff properly, and that makes society safer (but there is still some real stuff floating around, and if you look for it, you will find it- some certain places on earth where they have preserved it). It is dangerous, and if you think that OBE (out of body experiences) are dangerous, this stuff is one hell of a lot worse. About wanting to hurt people- that may very well be the reason why, so what i strongly suggest is to ease up on that stuff. (if you are just studying it, and not practicing it, that is better, but you still give power to any demon by saying its name or thinking about it). I am especially interested if the time when you started this demonology, and when these thoughts of hurting people came about.

About your dad, well, i know what its like to have a parent scream at you for everything. It is not a good thing. It doesn't make you feel good, and it puts stress on every cell of your body. it can make your chi close up, and can cause every illness in the book, as 99.9% of all disease is linked to stress, and negativity. You should really try to distance your self from your dad ( i am picking up that something is bothering him deeply, and he is taking it out on you- at least you). I am picking up that you are in your teens, early twenties. Just keep him happy as much as you can with out straining your self. As soon as you figure out where you want to be in life, you will be able to move out, and your dad will only be as painful as a phone call.

About where you said that you some times get hit- that is totally unacceptable, and to my opinion has to be taken care of right away. How do you expect to figure your self out emotionally and energetically if you are not well physically?? You can't. I know what that is like as well, and I know what it feels like to let someone know about whats going on. It scares you, and you feel like the consequences might be worse then just leaving it as is. You should keep in mind that there is help out there, and that you are not alone in this one. But you have to make that ultimate decision as to where you want to be, and what help you may need to get. Believe it or not, the book has a case of someone that was beaten up daily, and by just doing as the book said, it all stopped. Everyone that picked on this guy, moved to a different department, and or got fired. And who ever was there to hurt him on his way home just wasn't there any more. Trust me when i say that once you apply the secret, you will be able to control, more or less what happens to you.

Homeopathy is dealing with the medicine of energy, and you cannot possibly go to a homeopath that believes in homeopathy, and not psi. They come hand in hand. That is why i suggested it to you. They will be able to give you guidance as to what to take, and how to thing, and what to eat, in order to feel great and preform optimally. I really feel bad that the homeopath is so far away. What you can do though is look on line about the remedy or remedies that suit you most, and pick them up at your local health food store(i don't suggest it, as it is much better that you go to someone that studied the art, and that way the chances of hitting the problem are much higher- personally, i have done this in emergency situations, where my homeopath was unavailable, and it does work). If you would like to discuss this privately, please pm me.

You seem to be feeling a little confused, and are having trouble taking a stand point on what you have said, as you keep on disregarding it right after you said it. If you felt like there is something that is important enough for you to say, you should say it, and not feel bad or disregard it. If you think it will sound weird, try to explain it the best that you can, and don't care about the rest. Most people don't think half as much as you do about your self. St johns wort is a natural plant, and it comes in drops... the thing is you really have to know if you are depressed, and i am having trouble telling, but all of your symptoms directly link up with those of a depressed persons. (not wanting to hang out with people, feeling of self worthlessness, confusion, racing thoughts, something clearly visible outside that is hurting you as well as something that is you may not directly see that is hurting you deep down inside, etc) I hate to get on your bad side, you have just made a friend, and i hope that you do what it takes for you to feel better.

[goliath797]

I didn't want to read half of that. But this is the 3rd time i've heard about psychic vampires. First time was on this other forums. Somebody said they were being attacked by "psychic vampires" and was being a total b**** about it, telling us that we were immature little pricks that didn't know anything about real life, while she at the same time was talking about how beautiful she was and how badly she needed help. Bitchplz.

Second time was here. Third time was in a book im reading right now, haven't gotten to it yet, but i saw it in the table of contents. I'll tell you guys what i find after i read it.

[argatthias]

Hey I don't mind you called me a boy, to tell the truth I wish I was a boy. I hate being female quiet a lot. The stupid coments that I get day after day since I'm not as they say 'like a normal girl'. I wear boy clothes, I don't wear make up, I don't care about image at all, I never gossip, or do anything like the 'general idea of girls' are. I hate shoping and talking, I never talk on the cellphone unless I really need to talk to someone or something like that... Plus I love the 'general idea of boys' I love trucks, doing things that get me dirty, make things out of wood, also I teach karate with my dad... and other things.. I just get along better with boys since I'm to a sense more like them, more in common. I also am a lot of muscle and I don't care about weight, so I'm build a bit like a man as well. You are also quiet close to my age, I don't mind saying it much, but I'm 15 right now. I have not the thoughts of a normal teen I know that much. I don't think a normal teen talks more with adults than with kids and teaches the teachers. Anyways...

I guess I'll try to explain the 'things formed around her' thing. See what I mean by that is not physically around me.. I mean I can mental picture things, but not in my head. What I really do is see thing outside in the real world, say one of my characters in my book (by the way this happens to me a lot... characters in my books and my 'fake' world walk around talk to me in the 'real' one) and he's walking around, talking to me, telling me about what's say in the science room, or what's on the teachers paper and such, I just can only see things like that out in an area to a sense mixed in with the real world.. though I must say I don't know how this is possible but this happens quiet a few times, I always was wondering about this... but well... a lot of times I can talk to my characters.. they can go somewhere else, tell me what they saw and I could go into the room or whatever and it'd be right, even though that was impossible for me to know, like the teacher's paper thing, I could read the paper with out looking at it because the character told me what it was, even though I couldn't possible have known and the character should be real.

Right now about the depression thing.... your starting to sound like about every person I ever talked to about this and its really getting on my nerves... You people don't get it. I am not depressed that's not the reason I'm in the hatefulness of crowds and such, this is just how I am. I enjoy peace, quiet, alone time not the loud chatter of being with people, this is just who I am, how I am. I just am a person who likes being alone. There's no depresion about it its just the type of person I am. People just don't get it, not matter how many times I say it... My dad's trying to force me on pills because he thinks I'm going to kill myself since I don't want to be around people. For one, there's no way I'm takin' pills just because he won't listen to me and hates the way I am, 2 I wouldn't kill myself, I like to live my life as long as I possible can since I want to learn all I can in this time I got. I don't have any true confusion, I really dont. and what do you mean about racing thoughts...?

I'm wonderin' what your talkin' about, when the thoughts of hurting others started. I never have thoughts of hurting people. I have thoughts of helping people all the time. I said that I DON'T want to hurt people and that these vamp like powers are to a sense, to me, hurting people I don't like that and I want it to stop.

"I hate to get on your bad side" Why do you say that? You think I have a bad temper or something? I never get mad really, someone may get on my nerves, but I never get mad. I never yell, I never hurt people unless needed. I never get mad. A bad side, the only way to get on that is to try to kill me or someone else. That's it. I don't got a bad side really. You could make fun of me but I'm not going to burst. I don't have a short temper, I don't really have a temper at all.

I must say I would like to talk about that some I guess in pm... might help, I don't know. This is hard enough typing this...

I might not be able to read the book, no way to get it...

I started studying demonology when I was in I think 2nd or 3rd grade. Its always interested me studying about demons, devils as well as the other half, angels, gods. The ideas of them really are amazing and so wonderful to study, I also love studing vampires, ghosts, spirits, the Grim Reaper, ect. I love going to haunted places to. I'm going to a haunted prision also next summer, which I can't wait. It'll be so cool. Anyways. I just enjoy reading all these ideas and the ways that people think of them, Its very interesting indeed. I just open one book after another, read already all the books at school on demonology, theology, egyptology, greek mythology, psi, psycology, reincarnation, mythology in general, mythological creatures, the mind, the body, ghosts, hautings, spirites, out of body experences, and of course much, much more. I just also use my readings in my writings, though I must say I truilly enjoy writing horror... I'm right now writing most likely one of the goriest books there might be in a while. It has the devilS, demons, angels, gods, the Grim Reaper, inner demons, black magic, the works. Sorry I went off on a tanget. I couldn't help myself. It IS my favorite topic, demonology.

I'm not sure what I missed, as you must saw I skipped around. Right now I'm kind of in so much fear I'm almost into tears, I thought I was not going to have enough gas to get home from school today and I was stuck at the gas station (ironic isn't it?) tell the traffic left then I came home. The gas station doesn't have the type of gas my truck needs to run anymore so I always didn't make it home, so I'm kind of in half thought right now from the fear, since neither of my parents where home.

[The Devil's Advocate]

Ok, first off no one should be recommending even self medication. I've got a simpler solution: Shield.

Your reaction to crowds sounds alot like mine before I learned how to shield. There were times I had an absolute crying need for solitude. It wasn't depression though it did a good job of pretending to be. Some of your reactions seem to parallel empathic reactions, and they CAN resemble depression reactions. I warn you they can even spill over into actual depression if overload happens over a protracted period of time. Is this happening to you? You're in a better position to judge, but it's worth considering that while you may not BE depressed what you are actually going through could easily MASQUERADE as depression.

Now, I'm not sure what to make of what you're calling your 'vamp' powers. The only 'psi vampires' I've dealt with are deliberate. The "psionic Hole" is a separate case, and it /is/ controllable. I hope you'll forgive me but I gave you a quick scan. You're much closer to his scan than the actual psi vamps. You draw energy to you, but in your case it's not such a 'dense' pattern that his is. I have a suggestion, but I'm not sure it will work since I have literally only encountered ONE other person who genuinely had this issue, and he'd gotten control of it (mostly) by the time I ran into him. A shield is a place to start, but you're going to have to practice using the ability actively and 'condition' it (like you condition your body for a high kick) to draw JUST from ambient energy and not energy with a signature. I'm afraid I can't think of anything that would be an instantaneous solution, but I can think of things that are worth a try.

Now I don't encourage studying demonology in anything other than a historical sense. It attracts nasty things. Deamons are not your friends. If you pursue this you need shields even more.

On a side note: You're not that out there on the 'normal teen' scale. Sound like most of the folk /I/ grew up with in one sense or another.

~The Devil's Advocate